Praise God for He is SO good!

I'mmmmmmmmmmm backkkkkkkk~!! I am so ready to go full force and take over the world! I am more determined and motivated than ever to pull everything together and achieve the goals that I have set for myself. I thank God for being so good to me despite all my doubts and worries. ;D Look out world!

P.S. I got my new car last night! Yay! I'm very happy with it and she's beautiful! No more headaches with that darn old beamer... good riddance!

biggest loser finale! amazingness!!

my dad wants me join the show... haha!

i am inspired nonetheless!

i am going to stop lollygagging around and take some action.

I CAN DO IT!! HWA EE TING!

i sold my car today.

it happened quickly and seemed surreal, but it's officially gone!

no more car burdens! yay!

i'm having cramps.

i never have cramps.

it's really uncomfortable and painful. ;[

what do i dooooooooo?!

i like to eat too much.

gastronome i am!

nom nom nom!

but i need to think about losing weight and attracting a man

so i can get married, don't i? ;[

or that's what my momma says. hrmph.

it doesn't help the fact that the ladies of the lee family tend to have this ongoing trend of being single. 2 of my aunts (dad's sisters), 2 of my cousins... although one has been in a relationship for a while now, and another aunt who is my dad's cousin. meh!

Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say

It is well, it is well with my soul

It is well, with my soul

It is well, it is well, with my soul

I want to be able to wholeheartedly say that it is well or it will be well with my soul without any doubt or hesitation. However, I am not quite there yet unfortunately. But I will be soon.

ugh. i keep getting rejected from schoolsfirst credit union even though i fulfill the requirements and expectations for the positions i've posted for!! grrr! this is so frustrating and confusing... not to mention a blow to your self-esteem and ego! whether it's due to the high number of applicants (which is a very true possibility) or bad luck, this seriously blows. this is my 3rd rejection email already. i am holding out for one more position i applied for and i haven't received any response yet which i'm hoping is a good sign. they can't hate me already, right? they don't even know me! i am going to be persistent and keep trying because i desperately want to enter this company! i even have a friend who's trying to help me too (with whatever help he can provide) so PLEASE LORD!! let all the pieces finally fit together! i know there's a greater plan and You are definitely sovereign but i'm praying that this is according to Your Will! gah! ;[

Jeremiah 29:11.

I self-diagnosed myself with depression. I looked up the symptoms and I possessed all of them. From loss of memory (details, events or even things that just happened), erratic sleep patterns (too much sleep/too little), complete sense of time is lost, unusual and unexpected bowel movements, anti-social tendencies, feelings of worthlessness and the list goes on. How frightening is it when you THINK you're fine and dandy one day but you actually come to realize that you aren't so fine after all because your defense mechanism has been fooling you all this time? It's terrifying. So much so that I ran away to the deepest corners that I could retreat to. But then... from a distance, I heard it... my wonderful Father coming to find and save me yet again. He knows me so well... because He loves me.

well...

i think i'm almost back to normal.

whatever normal is.

i'm insecure.

i feel undesirable.

i feel ugly.

this is the struggle i face every single day while i try to put on my happy face. ultimately, i get through it all because of God's grace...

that is the only explanation that i have.

Praise God.